We're not "organized people."

(No pictures of my midsection today.  You're welcome.)

My husband Jeff and I often have this response to anything that requires us to have our ducks in a row.  We didn't get the form in to summer camp on time...don't they know we're not "organized people"? We didn't schedule a parent-teacher conference...oh well, better that the teacher learn early in the year that we're not "organized people."  And so on and so forth.  It's partially a joke and partially a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The joke part being that, yes, when it comes down to it we do get the things done that are required of us, especially when it come to our kids.  For instance, we picked up our daughter's renewed passport the day before we left for France.  From the passport office in Boston. After we payed the expedited fee.  Because we forgot to renew it by mail in advance.  But she went to France with a passport, dammit.

The self-fulfilling prophecy part is the hardest.  That is the mental block that prevents us from doing things that require a great deal of organization.  In fact, it prevents us from even creating a system that will help us be organized.  It's just so much easier to rely on the old "we're not organized people" mantra.  But you know what, when you are 40 and you own a house and two kids, it's not so cute anymore.  The 90s were fun but I threw out my thrift-store flannels and thigh-high tights long ago.

The fact is, I do WANT to be organized.  I came to the realization recently that I am a neat freak trapped in the body of a sort-of-messy person.  I love things to be clean and organized around me.  Looooove it.  I don't have a "bless this mess" attitude whatsoever and I am absolutely not at peace with dishes in the sink, clothes on the floor or piles of mail on the counter.  I firmly believe that type of clutter and mess in the home creates a sense of clutter and mess in the brain.  An overall sense of unease...at least it does for me. Still, I do live with those things everyday.  Mind you, I'm not near "Hoarders" status. In about 10 minutes I could throw things into drawers and closets and you'd come into my house and think I'm smoking crack for claiming to be messy.  But, whoa, just don't look behind the shower curtain.

But here's the thing: doing the Zone Diet requires a great deal of organization.  And this gets to the core of my "I don't wanna" attitude.  However, I've committed to giving this a try and, with that, comes the necessity of being very organized about it indeed.  One cannot simply do a Zone diet by just randomly chucking "healthy" options into the cart at Trader Joe's and then just magically expecting that the Zone fairy will figure out what one should eat every day.  Nah, this is going to take a LOT more planning than that.  Jeff tells me that he'd do great if someone would just tell him what to eat and prepare it for him.  Sorry, sweetie, but you're not Oprah:

[Oprah.]

[Jeff. It looks like I am naked in his sunglasses but I assure you I am only almost naked.]

Not even close.

So, instead of employing personal assistants and meal planners and chefs, I bought a white board.  Only slightly less expensive and far more fun.  Shit's about to get real:

[Isn't she pretty?]

That's right, a box for each meal and each day of the week.  Written in wet erase marker (like dry erase, but to erase it you need...wetness...ew).  The meals and snacks will be written in dry erase with Jeff on the left (oh, did I mention he's doing this with me????) in a manyly man color like blue and me on the right in a girly girl color like black.  I even added an extra box at the end to track some extra goals: water consumption, fish oil and sleep.  More on all that later.

Next step: filling it in.  If we make it past this step, we might just have a fighting chance.